Search Site View/Check Out	8.24.08-From The Heart of Mia Hi everyone! I'm so sorry its been so long, but life's been crazy. Instead of a typical, "What I Did On My Summer Vacation" diatribe, I'd like to share what I did this weekend. As a gift to myself, I went to a super fabulous hotel (of which I will share my experience there in an article in September), had a wedding cake cocktail (hey..I do weddings...if the words 'wedding' and 'cake' are in the same sentence, guess who's in line? Btw it tasted JUST like one..and left me more relaxed than I wanted to be. Anywhoo. Onwards and upwards.), and I spent time with me. No children...no work. Just me and whatever I wanted to do. Because sometimes when life gets crazy (and you have NO idea how crazy my life can get-or maybe you do because your own registers on the crazy scale of insanity at the highest level-particularly if you're planning a wedding AND living your life.),you just have to scream "ENOUGH" and book yourself a 'time out' somewhere wonderful. Where you're catered to, you don't have to make your bed (because someone else will do it for you), and you can get out of it whenever you feel like it. Which I did. Here is a run down because its the only WIDOMSV I'm going to probably discuss in this much detail..lol. Friday-I had gotten only two hours of sleep this fine day. The lack of Mr Sandman's presence occurs when this chica's ole' brain pan is letting her thoughts run WAY too amuck. I had booked this hotel last week so I knew that all would be well once I checked in and that sleep would come rather easily that night. Well, I get there and the hotel had me WAY too amused..it really was crazy cool.I really dug and enjoyed the whole vibe of it. It was my kind of place-and from now on, shall be my kind of place when I need to get away. Its not for kids, that much is certain. So, I get to my room and attempt a decompression state. I let out the deepest breath, held my head a bit, and decided that dinner needed to show up. This particular hotel doesn't have room service (not really that big a deal, to be honest), so if you want to grab and go, you have to go order in the restaurant, which overlooks the most amazing lap pool and the cabana swings-I could SO grab a book and fall asleep in one of those. Anyway, I enjoy already mentioned cocktail, grab dinner, and head on back to my room. Still trying to decompress.   After dinner and a nice, long shower, I fall into this bed full of pillows and softness (I do love me a bed like that), and I proceed to call my friend, Viv in Australia. It had been two weeks since our last chat-she being in New Zealand visiting fam and I, being so busy I've not had time to have a proper chin wag-and it really did this girl some good. Mad props go out to Holi as well because even though we speak near daily, SHE really did this girl some good as well! After a most welcome phone call, full of smiles and even some tears, my body could no longer handle the day itself. By 11.30pm, I was fast asleep. Safe, comfortable, and no longer feeling the need to let my thoughts take over myself. Saturday-I could've done breakfast downstairs, but my level of hunger just didn't rise to the occasion. I had started my 'think' again and I was trying not to. So, I made coffee. (btw, why does coffee almost always taste better on vacation? Things that make ya go 'ho-k'.) And then shopping had to commence because my eldest, who is proudly one of the kids that belong to the Class of '09 at his elem. school, goes back with a bang to school this week. So, I finally decide to leave the hotel at 1pm to indulge in mandatory retail drudgery, along with a minor in optional retail therapy...a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do gotta do (which meant an optional trip to Yankee Candle-well, I bought a teacher's gift there, but a YC Buttercream room plug-in was in the plans for me..and you outta smell my front living area..its cake! Literally!) Then I get back to the room...eat a really late lunch and just rest my laurels. Still thinking...still trying not to. Succeed a bit. But my thoughts are weighing heavily on me. Mind you, my thoughts aren't trivial. They are as serious as serious can be. I won't get into it...but no matter how far away I run, these will stay with me until a resolution is found. So, while I am getting a fair bit of rest, I still have to consider what is not going to leave me. Dinnertime-take out at California Pizza Kitchen. Divine. And then, more thinking. And a resolution..which is what I was looking to obtain before the end of the weekend. Unfortunately, I couldn't sleep. I had a resolution and couldn't sleep. That's just sod's law isn't it? The night I don't have a plan, I sleep like a baby. The night I do figure it all out, I can't get to sleep. Its 2.45am before I finally drift off, because my body knew better than my brain did. Sunday-Checkout's 10am. Moi didn't realize that until she woke up at 10.04am..but all is good. I made friends with the front desk and they're not going to charge you extra for being a couple of minutes over..I finally got out of there at 10.30am and now..I'm chillaxin' at my house. But I still have one more thing to do. The reason that I gave a rundown of my weekend is that everybody-and I mean everybody-should give themselves either a monthly or a bi-monthly trip to somewhere that is neutral and conducive to thinking and resting your tired body and mind. Where you can breathe, relax, turn the laptap on or off (mine stayed off most of the time), and recoup your thoughts. Do something for you. If you're planning your wedding, you need this now more than ever. So, you and your groom get away. You don't even have to leave town. Get a hotel room and let someone else spoil you a bit. Eat out. Breathe. Think. Grow a bit. And just what exactly was my resolution? To wait until all circumstances ARE in the right place before I go any further. To live my life, yet retain my love, for a situation that is some kind of wonderful, but also, some kind of complicated. So until all complication has been removed and things are clearly defined and shared, I have to carry on. Its the fair thing to do..its the right thing to do. And maybe one day, the wonderful can jack the complicated into an obsolete form of matter, that will no longer haunt or be. Love is still the answer. It always was. It is. It always will be. But a two-person job should never be given solely to one person, if two are perfectly capable of performing its duties. Especially when the job mandatorily demands two people for it. And that, my friends, was the weekend I needed. Take one for yourself. Find a way. All of my love..will talk to all of you soon! xxx 7.09.08-From The Heart of Danielle Greetings ladies! Ok...so many of you have been emailing us, asking about the latest trends in bridal gowns. Some of you have even gone as far as to call me out on why I don't report on bridal fashion week! Sooooo, lace up your corsets ladies-you asked for my opinion so here it is: To answer the question of why I don't review bridal fashion week: well, I do or at least I did. Yes I was a BIG critic for a while-Mia and I even somewhat critiqued this last spring's bridal week-but I stopped detailed critique of it all when I threw my bouquet (sorry, I couldn't resist) into the proverbial runway! After going through the design process the first time around, I realized it is a lot harder than it looks (DUH!). For a designer to put together a full show and a collection all at the same time and make it tell a story;all the while, remembering the customer and price points? It was insane. After my first collection hit the showrooms, I waited with baited breath for my orders. And you know what? I got shot down (feel free to add the sound effect of a plane going down in your head). The collection was not "complete enough". The story was too "obtuse" (yeah you heard me). The designs were too "out of the box "etc. I even had a buyer (brand new to her department-no older than 21) tell my rep I wasn't talented enough and lacked vision. "She will be gone by next season", said the rep. Was this karma kicking me in the ass? All those years of my big mouth critiquing and nitpicking coming back to hit me? Too obtuse? What the hell does that mean? Not talented? And that helps me how? I made it in a VERY reputable NY showroom in my first shot at this. That has to say something. Right? I designed a dress for Beyonce! I must have something...right? (insert the sound of crickets chirping) So, I went back to the old drawing board, took what I could from the muck of opinions, and tried to turn it into something positive. It worked for a while... but I lost me in the process. Yes, I am a 'work outside of the box' designer. I do what I want, when I want to. If I only get ten great dresses out of my head, then fine. I will not press for eight more 'ok' ones just to make a buyer happy. This whole artist integrity thing plagued me for years and at the end of the day, I had to take a break from it. I consider myself the type that can take criticism. But as a designer, I could not separate my feelings from the dresses (my bad). Each dress was a creation-from the muslin to the finished product-I oversaw everything. I even did all of my own beadwork! It was just me, myself, and my crystals! So to keep hearing everyone's opinion under the sun on my hard work just, well, got to me. Nothing was useful. It was a bunch of people who didn't design-ever-throwing their weight around (ohh...that is the karma-Oprah 'AHA' moment). Months later, I was asked by a magazine to review a bridal collection by an up and coming designer. I was told to be as brutally honest as I wanted to be by the editor. "Use your designer eye to pick out the flaws in the collection," she said. Ah, yeah...okayyyyyy. So I went and took a look and the collection was great. It was innovative and raw. I really loved it. When I spoke with the designer, she said that she had been inspired by Georgia O'Keefe and the back of her gowns reflected that in their bustles.Very ingenious. Like I said I loved it! I wrote a wonderful article retelling the designer's view on her inspiration and the detail work etc. The editor thought it was "too soft, too nice". So, she had someone else write their view on the same collection (not a fashion person) and they ripped it apart ala Simon Cowell. The writer was mean and, well, not very informed. But I thought about that designer and how she must have felt. Yes, we are designers; so we need to let it roll off our backs. We won't please everyone all of the time. But I began to notice a trend in fashion reviews that was unappealing to me. The critics were not constructive- just..well..bitchy. I decided that instead of sitting here and telling people my thoughts on what a designer is doing right or wrong was not my place. Yes, you can ask me if I liked a collection or the general theme of one. But at the end of the day it is up to the bride. Why should I steer someone away from a designer because their design isn't my cup of tea? The designers' take a story out of their heads and translate it into a collection. It takes a lot of imagination to put together a collection that should be encouraged and applauded-not trashed. So instead, I am going to tell you what I like about bridal and what I think should be celebrated…YOU!! You are the bride-its your day! If you're feeling a ball gown, please go get one. Who cares if Milan says it's passé? Have you always dreamed about being Maid Marion or a goth queen? Then by all means, grab your merry man and go girl go! But feel free to ask me which designer does a gothic bride best and who has Hollywood glam down to a science. I would be happy to give you a nudge! Ok. Now that the girl power thing is done and my rant on the state of fashion is over, here are my top 'Loves of Bridal' 2008- 1. Bold Color!!! I love bridesmaids in apple greens or rich ruby. I think it livens up a party and gives the girls more versatility. Check out more of the ready-to-wear designers for choices in color and styles. 2. Romance!!! How can you do bridal without romance? You can't. But Lela Rose took it to a whole other level. Inspired by the novel, "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand, the gowns were distinctive and the draping was immaculate! I especially loved the accentuated waist and almost origami style trains. 3. Angel Sanchez!!! Loved loved, the classic throw back short 50's style cocktail wedding dress. Simple, elegant, and oh so Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio, but with a little more attitude. 4. Favorite Underground designer who deserves the attention…(drum roll) Colleen Quen Couture!!! -Hands down, the most innovative and creative bridal designer out there! The Van Gogh Gown from her 2007 collection is to die for!! Who cares if it 2007? It's a true piece of art! Check her out at www.colleenquencouture.com Alright ladies...I have to sign off for now. But keep the fashion questions coming and I will keep my eye out for all the latest and greatest!! Love, Danielle 6.24.08-From The Heart of Mia Something Somebody Stole... This blog is going to be short and sweet, but its necessary. Now, I will have to say that the problem was resolved in a matter of hours. The person I was dealing with was amazing..more than amazing. She exceeded expectation. But I will have to say that had it not been for an incident that forced her into a corner that she didn't ask to be put in, I wouldn't be writing this blog today. But I will say that my faith in human judgement was redeemed in her actions yesterday. While I am flattered that someone was inspired by my words..and goodness knows, you can't beat the overwhelming feeling of gratefulness when someone proclaims to the world that they are indeed, reading your words and absorbing them as they do, you don't want the work that you've put into a particular piece, stolen from you. Let me put it to you this way: if anyone ever wants to use our material, please run it by us first. You'll probably get a 'yes' before you even finish the sentence. But again, it depends on what exactly you're going to do with our work before we release our permission for you to use it. And while my words were used in only the most beautiful of ways, no direct credit was given to them. Had I not been working my weekly Google search habit that I engage in, I would've never have known about the plagiarism itself. Let me just send out this polite, kind, yet firm warning to those who write and use other's words, without properly crediting the original author or without their written permission: don't. It is not enough to say 'you were inspired' by a particular author/writer. The mention of inspiration is not properly crediting the author/writer with the words that they took the time to form into sentences..paragraphs...whole articles or stories. YOU MUST ask permission from the author to use those words in your own artistic, vocabulary intensive creations. Like I said, the problem was corrected in HOURS and I'm grateful. I wasn't angry..I was actually quite flattered, so I couldn't get mad. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery-its true! But as a writer, I had to invoke the 'P' word. Its a legal protection as a professional and really, of all writers/authors who engage in wordplay for a living. Remember: before you use what's not yours, just ask! ;) Love Mia x 5.15.08-From The Heart of Mia Wedding News Today: What The Media Isn’t Telling You Hi everyone.. Now, while you see that title up above and let out a big huge sigh, THINKING, that there can be nothing exciting about what I'm fixing to say? I beg your indulgence and just a bit of your time on this because there's some definite scare tactics being used by the media, and these are being targetted towards brides and the vendors who serve or will serve them. It literally amazes me how the media thrives on putting people in constant nail-biting fear mode. I saw an article (its actually on our website, www.idoinstyle.net) and an online bit on MSN.com, about how brides are cutting back. There's some truth in that. In the U.S., with gas prices hitting higher than usual levels, which is then pushing up the prices on nearly everything we consume or use, people are cutting back. Could be a bad thing for some, a miraculous thing for others, the best thing for all? Time will tell. But here's what the media is trying to really do with this information: they're trying to get YOU, the bride and the bridal vendor, to believe that the international wedding industry is hurting. Nope, its not. As a matter of fact, it has remained THE most recession-proof industry and probably THE most recession-proof industry on the planet. Yes, brides are redirecting their budgets..yes, bridal vendors do feel that. But brides have ALWAYS redirected their budgets towards what they really want more of and what they really don't need, gets a smaller cut. Its not a big newsworthy event. But honestly? I'm sick of the media dictating the feel of what WE'RE feeling. I honestly think that's contributed to some of the consumer pullback in this country. It seems that the more fear the media can instill, the less we are to go out and spend. I'm not saying that saving money is a bad thing or that its not a necessary thing: its both. But don't compromise one of the most important days of your life because the media is feeling like God right now. They're only giving you the doom and gloom bit. Its not all hell, fire and brimstone..its not ALL horribly gone wrong. Its a perception issue. Its also a reality issue. The more gas and oil jumps up, the more we pay for it on every single level. Economics 101 stuff: When oil prices shift, so do the prices on all items we consume or use. Unfortunate, but true. The truth of the matter is that where there's a will, there's a way. And you can have the wedding day you want, exactly the way you want it, by reexamining your budgets and seeing what you really need and what you really don't. Its ok to redirect more towards your honeymoon..its ok to redirect more towards a photographer. Its totally ok to skip the caviar and go with pate. Be a smart, consumer savvy bride. But also see the media coverage for what it is. They know as little as you do. They're just feeling a little more ballsy with their pens right now. Doom and gloom sells. So, feel free to walk into that florist..that photographer..that cake artist's studio. They WILL work with you!! Now..rant out of the way. I hope you guys are having the loveliest week and have a beautiful weekend. Go wedding shopping this weekend. With bells on! :) Love Mia x 4.28.08-From The Heart of Danielle From The Inside Looking Out So, this past weekend, I attended a bridal shower for someone, oh, let's call her 'Esther'. It was held in the beautiful Elks club and was decked out to the nines. I'd arrived at exactly 1.00pm, as was stated on the invite. I found my way to a table to settle in for the festivities and as I passed by, some of the bridesmaids and future in-laws of Esther were gathered around. Taking my seat, I'd overheard one of the BM's saying, "...and her older sister did shit for this shower". The usual audible gasp of judgment passed. I'd decided that this was none of my business and walked on."Hmm, maybe I heard them wrong," I thought to myself. The sister of the bride, let's call her 'Alex', walked in and once again, I overheard several rude comments, such as "All hail-the queen's here" or just the sarcastic snickering that occurs when girls' get together and unite over a common enemy. I watched the looks Alex received and my heart went out to her. Now before you pass judgment on me for feeling bad for this girl, let's remember one thing –This is HER FAMILY'S EVENT!!! Not the BM's. Then Esther arrived and gave the required "OMG" look; as if she didn't know. Esther greeted everyone with genuine warmth and joy. I watched her go to her sister and the coldness was palpable, but Alex held her head high and attempted to be friendly to all. Esther made her way to her table, and her BM's gathered around her to begin the shower. Alex was seated at my table (I didn't know because she had been walking around greeting family) and she seemed fine. She was friendly, outgoing, and always asked if the table wanted anything before she went up to the bar. SO I thought, "What is so bad about this girl?" She isn't in the wedding party, that I gathered from many of the overheard comments. I wondered why and so turned to the soon-to-be sister-in-law of Esther and asked politely, "It seems Alex is sitting with us-shouldn't she be with the bridal party?" The SIL said, "Oh, that's Alex! Hmm..I wouldn't have known. It's not like she's been involved with the wedding!" I asked the SIL to go on and boy did she. "She refused to be in the wedding party for her own sister! Something about her being too busy. Esther was in hers. Actually, Esther was her MOH!" "Wow," I exclaimed, "so that's why the cold shoulder huh?" "Yup," she replied. Okaayyy. I got my answer and had begun to see Alex in a different light. And yes, I am ashamed to admit it, but I began treating her differently. I mean, really, who doesn't want to be in their sister's wedding? Then, it hit me. Maybe she really does have a good reason-perhaps, there is more to this story. Then, something happened that made me realize that there was definitely more to the story. Esther came to the table to grab Alex and introduce her to the bridal party. I decided to watch and see how she was treated. What I saw, scared me. Esther began the introductions to the girls', and they made it a point to be cold. There were nice enough to be cordial, but that's it. As Esther made her way around the table and got to the final girl named Helen, Alex extended her hand as Esther said" Helen this Is my sister Alex." Helen gave fish hand and said, "Ohh.. whats your name again?" and the other girls just gave a *cough giggle*. Alex looked around, smiled, and repeated her name, in which Helen turned her head and began talking to the other girls. Alex was vapor to her. Alex smiled and walked away. Now, before you ask, yes, Esther witnessed the whole thing, and no, she did not put a stop to it or tried to cover up anything. Apparently, Alex's cousin, Sheri, was there and seemed to be the only one that was on Alex's side. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. Now, I don't care what this girl may have done, but come on.... it's a wedding, people. She doesn't deserve to be treated like that in front of anyone. Alex was shaken, though she did try to hide it. Two hours into the party, Alex had announced she had to leave early. It was Passover and her husband had made plans to go to his family's house for Seder. I watched as Alex told her mother, in which her response was, "Why are you leaving? You're not Jewish!" I watched Alex explain that she needed to get home because her husband had RSVP'd for the both of them. She then told Esther, who rolled her eyes and took an attitude. Alex gracefully made her exit and the room exploded with snickers and whispers. "Oh how convenient. She's leaving. Could she be anymore rude? Why did she even bother? She looked like she couldn't wait to get out of here." Well, I'd decided before I jumped on the 'Alex sucks' bandwagon, that I would do some investigating of my own. I began speaking to Sheri, their 1st cousin, my 2nd twice removed or whatever...you get the picture. I asked her what was up and she'd explained that two years ago, Esther had asked Alex to be in her wedding, Alex had said "no", due to relationship strains with their mother. (Alex did not speak with her mother for two years after she had gotten married.) Alex apparently explained to Esther that she was better off having her friends in the party, so that their mother could not control it all, and that Esther would have more fun (the mother ruined the surprise for Alex, and whenever they would fight, would throw in her face that no one wanted to help with her shower, much less come). Esther was also in a sorority, and Alex knew that she would have a big wedding party. In this case, people would be insulted if they weren't involved. Alex than offered to make or buy Esther's wedding gown and all the bridesmaids (Alex is a fashion buyer, but does a lot of dress designing on her own). Esther refused her help. Alex was also starting her own label that year and knew how crazy things were getting, as well as the financial constraints she was under. She also explained that to Esther and told her that she deserves the best, and that she (Alex) didn't believe she could be the bridesmaid Esther deserved. Sheri went on to say that Alex also redid her apartment and sold it to the happy couple for… ready for this guys?..$150,000.00 US – a one bedroom, one bath, 750 sq. feet, professionally redone apartment in NY. You have got to be kidding me?! The apartment was worth at least 185K. Alex also threw in a bedroom set that was only one year old, new sheets, towels, cleaning supplies, window treatments etc. The kitchen had all new stainless steel appliances. She did whatever she could to make it up to Esther. "Esther stepped in shit..you know what I mean?" But after all of this, Esther could not let it go, that Alex was not in the party even after admitting to their father that, "Alex was right. Mom is doing everything that she said she would. She is driving me crazy. Thank GOD I have my friends doing the shower!" I stared in disbelief. "Wow. If you listen to other people, it sounds like Alex is a selfish bitch," I said. "But from what you've just told me, it sounds like a sister who really did look out for her little sister." Sheri then said to me, "It gets worse. Alex even told Esther that she was her sister no matter what, and that she didn't need the title of BM. That she would stand up and back her sister up no matter what, even step aside and let her friends be the BM if that meant less drama. Esther was furious. There has always been a bit of the 'lesser child' syndrome going on there, but not what you think. In this instance, the older one gets the fuzzy end of the lollipop, and Esther always gets bigger and better. I do think it's hard for Alex to see it. I was at her shower and believe me, it was nothing like this! And no, Esther was a horrible MOH. Don't even get me started on that one. Do you know there aren't even pictures from her (Alex) shower, much less a memory book or bridal bingo- no one in it?" "Look," she went on to say, "Alex is no angel, and yes I think she needs to get over some things. But if it's not healthy for her to be that close to things, than so be it! I mean people bitch that she needs to get over things. But then she gets plopped right in the middle of all of it again. And the girl is a hustler! She works 3 jobs, and is trying to get her label off the ground. Esther knows this. Even their brother kept asking how anyone expected Alex to do all of it." I asked Sheri why Alex didn't tell her mom before hand and she replied, "Alex has been working until 12 AM every day, she forgot that it was Passover, and only late last night did she get a message from her husband's family reminding them that dinner starts at 4.00 pm. Alex didn't know her husband had rsvp'd over a month ago. Look, Alex could've handled things differently in some instances. But really...can't we just move on?" I ended my conversation with Sheri and thought about things. Throughout the day, there were petty comments made about Alex, most that Esther was in on. I even found out the whole "What's you name again?" comment was the ongoing joke of the day. The BM's were supposed to say that to Alex every time they talked her to drive the point home that she wasn't around. Now just to put this perspective, the BM's have been Esther's friends since high school and college. That's over 15 years for some. And you don't know her sister's name? Come on! How dumb does the girl look? Did they think she wouldn't catch on? Now, we all know that there are 3 sides to every story: his, hers, and the truth. Alex probably was a bit jealous of Esther and if they'd been closer, most likely, would've been in the party. But for her own reasons, said no. And yes, Esther is hurt-but two years worth of hurt? Then, to make your sister the butt of an ongoing joke at a family function? To allow your friends to treat her like that? Does her crime really justify the punishment?? How many times have we been asked to do something that takes its toll on us? Emotional, physically or financially? How many times do we say "yes" because 'it's the right thing to do', and then we end up miserable? So here, this person, dare I say it, put her needs first? Something, that as women, is only now being pushed "A la Oprah", and she is getting strung up and burned at the stake? Last I heard, her mother is still upset about the leaving early thing and there are no signs of forgiveness anytime soon. But who would want to stay where they were being treated so rudely? Heck, for all we know, Alex heard all the comments and just couldn't take anymore after 2 hours of it. Maybe she was chased out? SO, my question still remains: did the crime fit the punishment? Is Esther's hurt worthy of this? Is Alex deserving of this type of treatment? Should the BM"s be involved? Did Alex reap what she sowed? Should this really play out in the court of family opinion? The damage is done. Alex must face everyone again at the wedding and hold her head up high amongst the judgments. No one will get be upset with Esther- it's her wedding of course! But just because you're a bride, are you no longer morally responsible? DO we hide behind the bridezilla complex too much nowadays? Is it just expected that brides be a little wacky? Should Alex push her stuff aside and jump in with both feet- they are sisters after all? Or was Alex being a bigger person by knowing what she could and could not give? Perhaps Esther's pain is all about rejection. Maybe she doesn't feel important to Alex? If sisters aren't really close to begin with, must they act the part when a wedding comes around? Is a wedding free reign to act the part? Putting on a dress and being a BM-does that make you a better sister or friend? IS it a requirement for you to suit up and become the bride's personal guard, passing judgment on all who oppose her? The other side is that your wedding day comes once in a lifetime (or so we hope). Should we not just push our personal baggage aside for those we love? Just suck it up and deal? Should we just fake it for a day? Is a wedding really a big band-aid for all that is wrong in a family relationship? Can it be the cure all? Or do we put too much into the day being perfect and the expectation on our family and friends to get it together for a day? People are people, we can't change them. So why do we insist on putting that pressure on ourselves of getting everyone to act perfect when a wedding is involved? How come we expect cracks in a relationship to get patched up automatically, without doing any of the work because we are donning a dress- be it a wedding or bridesmaid? Love Danielle 4.16.08-From The Heart Of The Girls! New York Bridal Fashion Week 2008 Every April is literally a time when Danielle and I are almost unattainable at this time of year. I'm lucky I've been online as much as I have been, to be quite honest. But this bridal week has been nothing short of spectacular! We are SO incredibly inspired by the designers really pulling out all of the stops for the Spring 09 collections-they're finally pulling away from what we affectionately call the Barbie Doll cake dresses and they're thinking outside of the box. We're looking at conversative sexy, assymetrical forms, with a heck of a lot of femininity involved. AND HATS..AND Philip Treacy inspired, feather intensive pieces. WE ARE IN BRIDAL HEAVEN, people! THIS is what we've been waiting for for four years. We were tired of bridal couture fondant and someone finally pulled out the bridal couture buttercream and piping elements, and went back to the basics..plus some! You've no idea how cool this bridal week has been. For the first time, in a long time, we are totally impressed with what the designers have come up. We're always looking toward Europe for trend and inspiration because frankly, Europe has a 2-3 year span where they are ahead of the bridal couture curve. And we always will! However, we are LOVIN' what we're seeing. At the end of this week, we are going to go through each collection and give you our own personal take on them. Right now, we are pouring through photograph after photograph, so we're not quite ready to form a general consensus. Obviously, shows are scheduled by the day, so we have to pour through them as the photographs hit the wire. Its common practice for one or both of us to attend the NY shows, but because we are working so hard on individual and joint projects, we had to decline all invitations. HOWEVER, in the fall, we'll be broadcasting from NYC with all of the latest,  so you get to be a part of the action. Yep, you heard us right the first time. We're gonna be BROADCASTING! Stay tuned for more info in the near future! ;) We'll see you back in "The Girls" Blogdom on Friday! AND as soon as all of the bride couturists are back in their offices and their publicists have gathered their wits again (because you guys have NO IDEA how stressful this week is for ALL involved. For us and for them: Its INSANE!), we're going to have runway photographs ready to show all of you in the next two weeks of all that has transpired in the newest section that's currently under development, "The Girls" Bridal Fashion Week Collections. Love to you all! Mia and Danielle "The Girls" 3.26.08-From The Heart Of Mia The Importance of Being True Hi my chicamen and chicita's! Some of you are basking in the rays of early Spring, some are experiencing early Fall in your 'neck of the woods', and some of you are somewhere in between losing your mind because its SNOWING and cold, when it should be a time to venture out in shorts and flip flops. For those of you battling cold, I wish you warmth soon. For those of you battling warmth, I wish you cool..especially my Oz peeps. Bless you all! A little updating is in order, methinks: Danielle is fantastic. She has just received some potentially amazing, potentially scary news about where she now has to be, so when we can share more, we will. Needless to say, I'm excited for her, but I know how she feels. (No, she's not pregnant. lol It would cure the overwhelming broodiness I've been feeling lately because then it would give me an excuse to go raid Robeez and Babystyle, but she's not quite there yet.) She's still in training for the team, so obviously, that's taken priority. More to be revealed soon on my lovely biz partner. I Do...In Style! is growing by leaps and bounds, ideawise and reality wise. More on that soon. ;) Most of you already know what I've been up to through our myspace (www.myspace.com/officialidoinstylemyspace) and normally, what I'm always up to. I try to keep it light there because my whole life is so taken up with the business, that light commentary is a welcome friend. So, you might see the love in my status updates, or the mundaneness of it..but its all me. lol. And until Danielle can rejoin me full time, you're gonna see a lot of both from my own perspective. If you've not joined our myspace yet, please feel free to come by, give us a shout out and ask for us to add your funky self! Let's see: this weekend I'm celebrating my sweet little girl's birthday and its gonna be SO much fun. Last weekend was all about my son's special turning of age and this weekend, I get to power down and do everything that a toddler adores. I love having a girl...after having a boy, I couldn't imagine having anything other than boys because boys really are, so laid back and amazing. But this girl of mine..as high maintenance and active as she is, she's so, SO incredibly loving and sweet. I cannot wait to have another child, but I just pray that any future children will be as beautiful in heart as these two children are. I'm truly a blessed woman to have those two heartbeats in my life. Happy birthdays my little lovebugs! And I guess you guys may be wondering about the pageant gig I talked about a couple of months back. Well..I'll share what exactly has happened and it probably has more to do with the title of this blog than the previous information in it, does. Twenty years ago, I won a pageant title and it just happened to be the inaugural title for this particular festival. It was so incredibly cool to win because not only was I crowned by a good friend who had placed 2nd in the Miss Teen USA pageant, not only was I interviewed by legendary DJ Frank Page (he's the guy who first introduced Elvis to the world at the Louisiana Hayride), but I also traveled the state with Miss Louisiana to several different pageants that were also Miss America prelims that following summer. My titlework began the day after I graduated high school, so while all of my friends were getting ready to take their graduation trips, I was up the day after graduation at 5am, getting ready to ride in the festival pageant, in the pouring rain..with dyeable shoes on my feet. Having dye mar your feet for about two days after the fact wasn't the least bit attractive, but hey..beauty is sometimes ugly business. It was a fun title to represent, hard work, draining and exhausting because I'd smile so much that my face hurt and staying in 4 to 5" heels all day was a living hades for my feet. I signed more programs, shook more hands, kissed so many babies, but I absolutely loved being a part of all of it. It was the highlight of a year that had been less than kind, personally. There is a point I'm trying to make here, so stay with me: I wasn't located in time to crown my successor. The pageant director literally couldn't find me, even though I was at Uni about 45 minutes away. So, this year, I was supposed to assist in that crowning and was even donating the crown to do it with. I was also asked to judge not just the main pageant, but..get this..the MRS portion of the pageant. Then the stress of all of this came upon me. And that's where the wheels fell completely off. The other issue is that this pageant landed squarely on my daughter's birthday. And I would've been involved in all of this ALL DAY long because pageants are all day affairs-especially for judges. My little girl deserved more than a peck on the cheek and a birthday candle blow-out before she saw her mum run out the door to tell a couple of chicas that they're physically passable. So, I gave it all up. Priorities are priorities. None of this was worth being stressed out over. This was supposed to be a simple, fun time for me. The very thought of all that was involved took the fun out of it. Being true to self, I had to keep true to my belief that NO ONE..and I mean, absolutely NO ONE..is worthy enough to judge you physically or otherwise. You're a priceless gift. Your worth can't be measured by a score sheet. So, at almost the last minute I said, thanks, but no thanks. And I have no regrets. Here's the bottom line and where its relevant to you as a bride: none of us are EVER going to be good enough in our own eyes. We're never going to be pretty enough, zit-free enough, thin enough or even, in some cases, feel we're good enough. But we're wrong. SO wrong. As a matter of fact, most of you at this very moment, are stressing completely out over your dresses, your weight, your makeup artist..your photographer..your cake artist. You're finding a way to make this time as stressFUL as possible, when you should be seeing the other side of this. Getting married to the man you love is just that...this other stuff? Its all completely secondary. Sure, you want it all as perfect as it can be. But you're bringing the stress on at a cost to yourself and your groom. Because, you see, the man who ASKED you, has asked you because he loves you..zit moments and all. He's not expecting perfection and believe you me, we women are SO far from that. He just loves you. Without judgement. Without the need to qualify his decision. He.Loves.You. You ARE good enough. Just the way you are. Change what you don't like, but do it with a smile. And love in your heart. Be kind to that man who probably sweated bullets because he was going to have to accept the fact that he may end up living with the fact that you may make his cool, sleek bachelor bathroom look like an offshoot of a Chintz-R-Us store. He probably lived in said bathroom for a day because of the nervousness factor involved, and then he finally got up the intestinal fortitude to take a knee, to ask you if could possibly see past the point of his own flaws and be his for the rest of your life..and he went through all of this trouble, in the name of love. That's why you are where you are. It doesn't matter how long it took to get to this point. The point is: you're there. Remember the original reason why. So, stay true to who you were before the wedding planning made you crazy nuts. Stay true to the beauty that is within you, because weddings can make you ugly. Stay true to you and get married with only the best of intentions-not because you can prove that you TOO can throw a fabulous party to be judged by all who attend it-but because you're celebrating your soulmateness, your love matchness, and your greatness together. Everything else will fall into place. Love, Mia X     2.09.08-From The Heart Of Mia Happy UnValentines Day! Hi gorgeous ones! For those celebrating a Valentine's Day wedding, Danielle and I send all of our love, our best wishes and our good thoughts to you and hope that your day is beautiful and bright! And this blog would NOT be for you, so, go ahead and click out. lol.. This blog is going to seem strange coming from a real live girlie girl. Or maybe I'll have a gaggle full of people who agree with me completely, but either way, I'm going to express my thoughts on what Valentine's Day means to me. I dislike Valentine's day with all that is in me. Now, to those vendors who are reading this and are ready to start throwing knives at my person? Just hold that 'thought' and wait for the rest of my response. I do have my reasons and I'm definitely going to share them. You'll want to marry me several times over after you finish this blog- I promise! ;) Well, first of all: On Valentine's Day in 1980, my great-grandmother died. So, already, that's automatically one strike against it. Now, obviously her being gone for so long isn't as hard on me emotionally anymore, but the memory is stuck forever, so there ya go. For the most part, that day is used to remember a sweet, gentle, beautiful lady. Secondly: I believe love should be celebrated everyday, not just one day out of the year. We should all be supporting our local florists, card stores and Hotel Chocolat..or Z chocolat...or Godiva-err, I better stop with the chocolate talk now because that just sounds way too tempting and I can't have any of it right now, dernit- by visiting their shops, either weekly or monthly, to celebrate the loves of our lives. And girls, don't let it be beneath you to give your favourite guy flowers or cards..or chocolates on any given day. Even if your guy isn't the sensitive type, its the thought they'll love. Am I against a nice dinner on this particular day? Nope. But I'm not against having a nice dinner on ANY given, particular day either. Thirdly: Romance should be everpresent in your life, everyday. And at this point, I'm not speaking in a materialistic sense. I'm talking about your heart and your soul sharing with another heart and soul. Intimacy can be really scary for people who aren't used to it or aren't accustomed to having it in their lives, though they've probably always craved that particular kind of relationship. If I'm being completely honest, it actually IS scary for me to let someone in that much to some extent, because of a past that I'm still trying to get over. I know that over time and with a lot of trust, it will get easier. So, talking is a really good starting point that will allow, one day, for all of those feelings to be released so easily and without hesitation. And if all of that talking bleeds over into another 'ahem' realm altogether, then candy and flowers PALE in comparison to what a little romantic verbal synthesis can lead to. ;) What am I doing or getting Valentine's Day: Not one derned thing on either front. I'm going to love on my children and I'm actually going to give them candy, because my mom did it with my siblings and myself. The guilt I'd feel if I didn't give them a childhood memory that included a heart shaped box full of chocolate and sugar would be slightly overwhelming for me. As for myself, I have only one wish: that the love of my life is healthy, happy and head over heels in love with me. If I have that, then I'm an extremely happy girl and my day will be complete. But that's a daily wish for me. Not just a one-off thought. So, in my house, there will be no special cards, flowers, or candy that I really don't need. It will be about a thought, a small note, a 'kiss', and the sending of my love from my heart to his-things that I do everyday anyway. My routine won't be upset by a day that should be celebrated everyday: love is a nanosecond by nanosecond action in my world. As it should be, in my opinion. ;) As a matter of fact, I'll do this now: I love you my gorgeous man o' fun and love-and I always will, no matter what day it is!! Happy UnValentines Day! And he'll get the same message tomorrow as well...and the next day..pretty much for the rest of his life, I imagine..lol. Because everyday, my love grows for him in such an exponential form, that it just seems unreal how much in love with him I actually am. And I didn't have to spend $6.00 for ONE card specifically made for ONE day to tell him that. You can't put a price on true love and it can't be bought or sold. Its there for the giving and the taking and doesn't require a bow or an envelope. It just requires the both of you meaning it and showing it every day that you live and breathe. Its just that simple! So for those of you who don't celebrate this day, Happy UnValentine's Day. For those who do, enjoy! But just remember: its the little things you do everyday that make the biggest impact. A note, a thought expressed outloud. Or even if you want to SHOW her/him that you love them, visit those florists and retailers often. They could use your business everyday, not just one day out of the year. Its what keeps you both in the lurve biz! ;) Love to you all, Mia X   12.04.07-Happy Holidays Babes! From The Heart of Danielle: HI Guys- Things have been so crazy! My tournament is 5 months away AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! And as usual I am not pleased with any of my forms (what else is new) so more work and more work is needed (damn Type “A” personality). I have finally landed the aerial (after 4 months of trying and 1 bad knee) so yay! I am having my music for my musical form mixed and I can’t wait for you guys to hear it! In the meantime I have been designing my uniforms for trials, which is a whole new experience in designing (mandarin collars are not half as flattering on me as I once thought). So, it is time to break the mold and try something new. I am thinking an asymmetrical neckline would be nice, but first, I have to solve the whole gravity and needing a bra thing. So, all in all, I am knee deep in Martial arts stuff. I promised my husband (bless his heart) that this would be my last year competing if I win, so that his darling wife can stop coming home bruised and sore. Though with the flexibility I have gained I don’t hear him complaining about training so much. ;) Sorry TMI on that one but heck, since when do we hold back around here? Other than training like a fiend, running Drama Queen Style, and helping Mia out with “I Do”, things have been quiet. With all of my spare time, I think I will work on that whole world peace thing… yeah, that sounds good. I can fit it in around 3 to 3:10 AM. Happy Holidays, Danielle   12.04.07-There's Somethin' about Christmas/Hannakah/Kwanzaa/Festivus Time-From The Heart of Mia: Well, are you all ready for the holidays? Are your trees up? Your menorrahs situated in their special place of honour? Are you brushing up on the seven principles of Kwanzaa-and most importantly-are you ready to recite them by memory to your children and family members? Or are you feeling truly, in the Seinfeldian manner, a feeling of festivus? Whatever your choice of holiday, be they one or all, we hope that you have a safe, amazing, family-friend filled time full of love, happiness and the spirit of the season everpresent in your lives. Now, on to the *ahem*-State of "The Girls" (Thank you..thank you..) The State of "The Girls" is good! (You can applaud now..;) and btw, why do speechwriters feel this is an original line? Because its so not. Mini-rant over..and now, back to our originally scheduled programming. I can honestly say that 2007 has been a year of blessing for us. We've met so many incredibly talented and beautiful human beings through the miracle of m'spaz (or if you speak English: myspace), and we've seen our professional and personal lives soar in ways that were previously unimaginable. Or expected. But honestly, we have all of you to thank for that. You've been steadfast in your support of us and the truest of friends and we love you all. Our brides, our vendors..our friends and those who even call yourselves, fans..without you, we wouldn't be where we sit. I've been asked by a lot of you about what I was dying to receive this Christmas. Without this sounding too much like an Amy Grant Christmas lyric (and I love her, so no hatin' on her peeps); Frankly? I really don't care if I receive one material gift this year. I literally have everything I need. And I can hear ya all groaning and thinking, "Aww..she's a bad liar. She's just gagging for a Hermes Bag and we all know it." Ok, so I am admittedly somewhat shallow when the mood strikes and I do love me a Hermes..but it doesn't rise to the level of need, so bye bye, you piece of leather gorgeousness, you. lol. Look, here's me at my most honest: My strongest heartbeat is healthy, my smallest heartbeats are in good health..I'm in good health..I Do...In Style is up and running..Danielle and her wonderful family is doing extremely well! What more could I possibly ask for? Maybe for the soldiers to come home to the families who grieve their absence. For Darfur to experience a peace that surpasses all human understanding. To see those who are lonely find a friend or the love of their lives that they've been dreaming about ALL of their lives. To see cancer (childhood and otherwise)/HIV/AIDS/and heart disease eradicated. To witness Paris Hilton actually get a clue. No, I really am serious when I make the proclamation that I could care less if I get a box to open this year. I just want people to live freely, to speak freely..to be free. To be well. To live better than before. And those gifts, alone, are more valuable and priceless than a glorified (although beautiful) Parisian handbag. I am loved. That's all I've ever wanted or needed. That IS THE ultimate uber gift of all time! What is 2008 shaping up to be like for "The Girls"? Well, you'll just have to stay tuned, won't ya? All will be revealed during this amazing new year.. our new cosmetic line with the brand new Wedding Cake Collection Lip Balms being the first 'baby' we give birth to in 2008. All of the other lines that we're currently developing that are actively in the prelim planning stages will be debuted in the next year with much fanfare AND-get this-we're even planning a couple of contests where one of you will win the first product off the production line of each line we're developing and you'll receive it before it even goes on sale (our I Do...In Style Giveaways will be spectacular), so its going to pay to stay tuned to I Do...In Style! in 2008. We are also of the mindset that for every winner who wins one of our giveaways, we are going to allow that same contest winner a chance to 'give' (on our dime) the equivalent of what she's won to the battered women's shelter or women's charity of her choice-AND, we will put the donation to said charity in the winner's name. What we've been given, we also give back. That's our mantra. We consider ourselves the trend-incubators in the international wedding industry-the ones who will continue to search this whole globe to set wedding trend on its ear. We're not your typical wedding gals, I Do...In Style isn't your typical website/advice site/web magazine..and we don't plan to ever change that. We want you to see the bridal industry from a different view in the castle. One that lets in more light, more clarity and isn't mired or watered down in any way. So if you thought that brutal honesty was our forte in 2007, just wait until 2008. ;) In other words, you won't be disappointed by the big plans we're in the middle of making! So until Jan 3, 2008, from my 3 beautiful heartbeats and myself, we want to wish you the most spectacular holiday season ever and the happiest of New Year's. Please don't drink and drive and may you stay safe, sound and happy this holiday season. May love, hope and peace find and stay with you not only now, but all of the days of your life. God bless and keep you all, Mia The Texas Half of The I Do...In Style! Girls   10.16.07-All In A Year's Work! Well, my friends. A year's worth of work is finally coming together. There have been many nights of hard slog (that's English slang for hard work) and wee morning hours that have gone into this place. Most of it has to do with research. Danielle and I, together, have so much that we can put in this second home of ours, that we've literally had to pick and choose the 'wheat from the chaff', so to speak. And although I'm still not done placing it all rather lovingly in here, when it is finally finished, I'm quite possibly going to sleep for days on end. My days usually end at 3-4 am now. That's not a complaint. Not at all. I've learned how to survive off very little sleep now. Some people would think that keeping these kind of hours is equal to complete insanity. But when you believe in and have an absolute passion for what you do for a living, you'll work innumerable hours perfecting your work so that others can enjoy the fruits of your labour. In the end, if your work ends in a smile, then its ending in a visual exclamation point. And that's a pretty good sign that your pretty derned happy on the job front! Its good to be the boss! But the love for my job is only as good as the industry I work in. And I absolutely love, adore and cherish the international bridal industry. The people I've met along the way, the amazing talent that is out there, no matter where they call home; there is just so much diversity in the way people express love through their art and the way they so willingly give it to others so that they can take it and make it their own personalized signature and stamp on the most perfect day that their ultimate love's expression ends up being. There's nothing like a wedding. But most importantly, there's nothing like love. There's nothing like watching two people stand and state that their love for each other is undeniable, untouchable by anyone else, unmatched by any other standard. If its heartfelt and coming from a place of absolute truth, then you'll visually see and physically feel the love elevating everyone present at that most beautiful occasion. Its magical. Its meant to be. Hopefully, if its real and tangible, it will last forever. And whether you've found love the first time it dumbstruck you silly or whether it took you many, many years to find the absolute love of your life, I wish all of you true love and all of the happiness that you can hold in your soul and in your arms. And I wish that for you, forever. Wow..that was pretty deep. I promise to really ruin the moment next time around..lol. Friends, thank you for being here. Thank you for believing in Danielle and I. We won't disappoint you. We can only get better here at I Do...In Style and we hope you stick around to see that promise come to fruition. All of my love, Mia The Texas Half of The I Do...In Style Girls!
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